The Wonders of Weeding.

Spring has well and truly arrived, and nature is thriving – the citrus trees in our garden are bursting with divine smelling flowers and the Frangipanis are growing their first leaves. Naturally, the weeds are having a field day as well. While tending to the weeds, I had a few epiphanies about how this simple activity relates to life, self-development and the cycle of growth, decay and renewal.

A garden comes with responsibilities, and just like in life, there are things we like doing and things that just have to be done. The last few weeks I have been spending time in our large front garden, situated next to bush land. The garden bed snakes around the boundary and maintaining it involves removing weeds, clearing a plethora of fallen leaves and branches, and pruning palms.

It gets to show how a mundane activity like gardening, can bring valuable insights. Here is what I realised, learned and connected with:

Mindset and intention are key.

Instead of approaching weeding with a sense of dread or doing it begrudgingly (like I have done in the past), I try and see weeding as a mindful, even meditative, activity. I approach it with willingness, intention and quiet determination so it feels less than a battle and more like a beautiful dance with nature.

This can be applied to any (seemingly dull) life task or event.

Become aware of your attitude, consciously change your mindset and take an intentional approach.

Seizing easy wins when possible; paying careful attention when necessary.

Weeds are not the only part to sort out. There are small branches and tons of dried leaves intermingled with mulch, consisting of bigger bark pieces. Sometimes I can simply grab a handful of leaves from the top but because I want to keep the mulch and bark pieces, I also need to carefully sift through the leaves and weeds – it feels a bit like what Cinderella had to do as she sorted through her tasks.

Just as I carefully separate what to keep in the garden and what to get rid of, this process mirrors how we approach our choices in life.

Sometimes it is clear what we need or want to get let go of – whether it’s relationships, habits, mind patterns or behaviours – and we can do so with ease. Other times, we need to look closer, carefully sorting and evaluating to work out what to keep and what to remove from our life.

Appreciate small moments while keeping the big picture in mind.

With the size of the garden, it takes several attempts to get it completed (sometimes it feels that by the time I finish, it’s already time to begin again). I can easily spend a few hours on a small area. Instead of letting that deter and discourage me, I focus on what is right in front of me and the progress I made. It is extremely satisfying to see the difference when stepping back to look at the cleared area. It may only be a small section, yet it is an achievement in its own right, while contributing to the improvement of the overall garden.

The approach I take in the garden is valuable in other areas of life – to stay motivated and appreciate the process, rather than feeling overwhelmed by the size of a task.

In life, how easy is it to feel bogged down or exhausted? Whether it is the size of a project, the multitude of day-to-day activities or items on the to do list, or life in general.
Breaking things down into small steps can give us a feeling of satisfaction and achievement. And remember, celebrating the small wins is important before getting on with the next stage.

It doesn’t have to be perfect – detach, accept & re-balance.

This is what I learned from past weeding and garden sessions – it is important to know when to stop.

Previously I obsessed about every single dried leaf mixed in with the mulch. Now, a little wiser when weeding, I pause and remind myself that it doesn’t have to be perfect. The wind might pick up and blow fresh leaves from the nearby bushland again.

Just like I learned to accept that the garden will never be completely clear of stray leaves or weeds, I learned to let go of the need for perfection in day-to-day life and, accept imperfections – within myself, my choices and others.

Too often we over-analyse and over-think things. It might be a decision, what someone said or what we said or didn’t say. The key is to recognise when we replay conversations in our head, worrying about whether we said the right thing (much like searching for every last leaf in the mulch!) and second-guessing ourselves.
Take notice and next time you catch yourself over-thinking, pause, take a deep breath and remind yourself that it’s OK for things to be unfinished or imperfect. This way, we learn to detach, accept and cultivate compassionate distance and balance.

Sustained focus on change and growth brings rewards in the present moment.

The interesting – and sometimes frustrating – part about weeding is that some weeds will return even after you pull them out by the roots, and dried leaves will reappear. The work won’t be done forever. But I don’t feel disheartened by this anymore. Focusing on the now and seeing the change in the moment brings reward and contentment. Because like with cleaning the house, we keep doing it, right?

I see parallels between gardening and self-development, particularly when creating change in behaviours, attitudes or beliefs.

Sometimes we can switch behaviours or patterns and clear them for good. Sometimes they rear their head again, depending on the trigger.
I can’t tell you how many times I heard clients say, I thought I have dealt with this? While it can be disheartening or seem like a setback, this gifts us a valuable lesson and an opportunity to reassess and clear deeper layers. Ask yourself – what is my trigger? What is underneath it?

So just like persistent weeds require ongoing attention, old habits, beliefs or patterns can resurface, reminding us that growth is a continual process rather than a one-time effort.

Patience and right timing – allow it to unfold naturally.

While clearing around one of our large imps in the garden, I easily removed dead leaves and undergrowth. However, when I tried to pull off one stubborn yellow leaf, I stopped myself, realising that forcing it would damage the plant; over time, the leaf would dry out and fall away naturally, showing the plant was ready to let it go.

Forcing things doesn’t really work – pulling weeds without their roots only makes them grow back faster. This is a lot like trying desperately to get rid of a belief, habit or symptom. Too often we address surface issues (like applying a steroid cream to a healing wound) or try the easy way out, although the issue may disappear briefly, it usually returns sooner or later (sometimes worse).

Similarly in life, forcing change before timing or conditions aren’t right, is rarely effective. Recognising when we are not ready to address a habit, tackle a challenge or have an important conversation, takes wisdom. We – or others – simple may need more time and granting that time and space can be incredibly powerful.

Practicing discernment: choose and decide with wisdom.

At times, it can be tricky to distinguish whether something in the garden is a weed or simply a new shoot from one of the established grassy plants. In these moments, I need to decide whether to leave it for now and wait until I can clearly see what it will become, or to remove it right away without knowing for sure. When I didn’t pay attention or was too hasty, I’ve pulled a new shoot before.

This scenario is a fitting analogy to life and how rash decisions or judgements can diminish our potential and growth. How many times do we feel compelled to step back from something new before giving it a chance to grow, such as a positive habit, hobby or even a blossoming friendship or relationship?

When we feel uncertain or cannot immediately see the benefits (and returning to our comfort zone is tempting us), it may be wiser to give things time to develop, rather than making a rash decision. By doing so, we avoid risking the discarding of something – or someone – that could turn out to be truly good for us, even if we cannot see the value just as yet.

What opportunities or growth potential might you be overlooking?

Don’t let fear stop you – take (appropriate) risks.

Digging around in a pile of dried leaves and wet soil can be messy, you can find things you might be unprepared for and yes, there are risks. We have big jumper ants in our garden beds, and their bite is very painful. I’ve also had some unpleasant experiences while gardening: I was stung by paper wasps and once, I was startled when a massive huntsman spider appeared near my hand. It was scary, though not dangerous – despite my scream suggesting otherwise.

Similarly, life holds elements of surprises and risks. Facing the unknown, old patterns or fears can hold us back. It can be liberating to bravely dig deeper to see what lies beneath and find out why they are there or hinder us.

Taking a risk to step into the unknown and working with our fears and worries, allows us to clear underlying patterns or restrictions. We can’t let them stop us from living, right? Most of the times things don’t turn out as scary as they may seem – the huntsman was probably more scared of me than I was of him!

Selfcare is essential – learn to protect yourself and set boundaries.

My gardening sessions have taught me just how crucial it is to look after myself and not just focus on outcomes.

I now ensure I wear a hat and sunscreen, and I take regular breaks to sit down, hydrate or stretch. I’m conscious of not pushing myself too hard by setting a time limit and following it. Taking short breaks keeps me energised and motivated. And by sticking to my boundaries and listening to my body, I have the endurance for other activities in my day.

Selfcare means to actively take steps to maintain our physical, mental and emotional wellbeing and boundaries help to protect our time and energy. These vital principles can be applied to every area of life – from working to cleaning and decluttering or starting a new exercise routine.

It is vital to recognise when we take on too much and overwhelm ourselves and when to pause and set clear boundaries – with Self or others.
Neglecting self-care can leave us drained or lead to burnout; if we ignore our limits or warning signs, we can end up exhausted and deflated. Simple steps can make a big different such as setting a timer every hour to take a 5-minute break at work to step away from the computer, have some water or take a few deep breaths.

Recognise and switch negative self-talk or old stories.

After finishing a long weeding session, I stepped back to check the completed area. I noticed a critical voice in my head: ‘I cannot believe I spent over 3 hours on this small area’. I took a deep breath and reminded myself how much work was involved – the countless buckets lugged to the now overflowing bin. Hoping for assurance, I asked my partner for his opinion; fortunately, he complimented my results. But what if he hadn’t?

Is this something you notice and do to yourself? Instead of acknowledging your accomplishments such as ticking off an item on your to do list, finishing a part of a project or completing a demanding workout, you see the negative, criticise yourself for not doing it well enough or notice a seeming lack of progress.

Our insecurities and old belief systems can be oh so discouraging, leading us to seek external validation; and when we don’t get it in the way we hoped for, we feel even more deflated.
In such moments, it can be helpful to sit quietly, write and gather ‘evidence’ that counters the critical thoughts or false beliefs. This can help shift our perspective and see things with more clarity. Instead of seeking others’ approval and validation, how can you become your own biggest supporter and confidently cheer yourself on?

You don’t have to do this on your own: be open to ask for help.

When I come across tasks I cannot master, like moving a heavy pot, pulling out a stubborn root or pruning palm fronds that hang too high, I consider my options. Do I have a helpful tool, such as a ladder? Do I need to enlist help and ask my partner to assist? Or, like in the back of the garden where the trees were simply too tall to manage (because we procrastinated pruning!), we had to call in the professionals. The job was simply too big without the proper equipment, plus we prioritised safety for ourselves and the health of the trees.

Life presents its own set of challenges and sometimes, we can navigate them on our own. But when things become overwhelming, we feel stuck or can’t figure out a solution, seeking support can make all the difference – if we allow ourselves to do so.

Whether it’s reaching out to a loved one, a colleague or even a professional for the bigger issues, recognising when to ask for help is invaluable and a wise choice. We need to remind ourselves that we don’t have do everything on our own.

It’s perfectly okay to ask, accept and embrace help.

Support through Advanced Kinesiology.

Kinesiology is a powerful and effective way to identify and clear deeply held emotions, beliefs or old ways of being. As part of the Advanced Kinesiology sessions, we develop tailored strategies and practical applications that you can use at home in-between the sessions. If you need guidance and professional support, please email me, call or book online.

My hope is that this article, musings and connections resonate with you in some shape or form. For self-help tools and practices, refer to the resources section and links below.

With grace & wonder

Lexi